Sylvia plath never put a toothbrush in a poem.

  Sitting in its cup or on its little porcelin ledge, with bristles, now dry from the previous day, pointing out at odd angles from use after use, and flecks of toothpaste stuck between, half dry, half damp, with pieces of plaque or tartar and the stuff of tooth decay, lonely and unused but once or twice […]


It’s hard to write happy (this one’s for the kitties)

An incredible, amazing, beautiful lady once told me it is a hundred bajilion times easier to write when things aren’t going well. Writing just happens so much easier when your house is on fire, your dog has scarlet fever, all your plants are dead cause you never water them, there is no money in your […]


Why you may not be in the “Workforce”

 But first an explanation of why I’m posting this. It’s been a minute. That is, I have been neglecting this blog thing. I’m sorry mom and dad… Well. Not really. I’ve been sitting here for a while now, trying to think of something new. Nothing is really coming to mind so I am going to […]


Up in smoke

What did I resolve to do better in this new year? Nothing. I’m not going to quit smoking because I like to smoke. Quiting would be a complete pain in the ass and make me a more difficult person than I already am. I know mom. I know I should quit. It’s bad for me […]

He may be a fat old man, but he will knock your scrawny ass out.

To the dim-witted cretins beating each other on my stoop Saturday night

Merry Christmas… You complete and utter morons. If the Philadelphia Police Department weren’t so damn incompetent I’d be laughing at your asses through two-way glass. You are some lucky dogs. Who spends their Saturday night beating people on a random stranger’s front stoop? I mean only one punch was thrown and it was a sucker […]